It’s the day before your wedding — and even though it seems like you should have everything organized, there’s a few key tricks to preparing for your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner that will make your experience that much better!

Generally speaking, the only people that you need in attendance at the actual rehearsal is your immediate family (parents, grandparents, and siblings), as well as your wedding party. Additions could include people reading verses, people singing, as well as anyon

At the reharsal dinner, the guest list is really up to the host.

Keep reading to learn how to properly prepare for your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner!

Pro Tip

Hire your photographer for your Rehearsal & Rehearsal Dinner!

Since the beginning of Lele & Beane Photography, I’ve always included rehearsal coverage in every Wedding Package. I love to familiarize myself with the ceremony, give tips from a photo perspective, but I also connect with the people who matter most to the bride & groom AND let everyone know when and where I need them dressed and ready by the next day. Having your photographer here not only builds trust and gives you more opportunities to capture memories!

Rehearsal Prep

what you need to come prepared with

Rehearsal Director

On the wedding day, you’re going to need someone to lead the entire ceremony from beginning to end. So at the wedding rehearsal, this is a great time to practice everything they will be in charge of on the day of. Hopefully, this person is your wedding planner or day-of coordinator, but they can also be a friend of the family who is not in the ceremony. They will be responsible for directing all family members and wedding party on where to stand and when to walk, as well as will be the point of contact for all vendors associated with the ceremony like the music, officiant, and florist. Typically this person is extremely welcoming as they manage communication, logistics, and problem-solving.

Seating Order for Immediate Family Members

Prior to the rehearsal, figure out where each of your family members will be sitting during the ceremony. This should include parents, siblings, grandparents, extended family, etc. If the flower girl and ringbearer are very young, you may want to specify where they will sit after they’ve proceeded down the aisle.

Traditionally speaking, as you face the altar, the bride’s family is on left and the groom’s family is on the right. However, a more modern approach is placing the family on the opposite side of the bride and groom so that the bride’s parents may see the bride’s face for readily during the ceremony.

No matter which side your family sits on, I love encouraging the mothers to sit in the first seat of the aisle so they have the best view of the entire ceremony!

Order of Wedding Party

Make sure you have the exact order of your wedding party during the processional and recessional. If you have any married couples as part of your wedding party, it’s fun to have them walk out together for the recessional.

The Formality

The formality of the wedding ceremony should be discussed with your officiant prior to the rehearsal. Talk about how you’d like to be escorted in, the verbiage you’d like to use when handed away, the style and length of the sermon, as well as any other religious preferences for the ceremony.

Special Events

If you plan on doing any special events during the ceremony like a unity candle, communion, sand jar, or rope braid, make sure you have a place to represent where that will take place.

Music

If the ceremony musician or DJ is not available for the rehearsal, that’s okay! Please make sure to have someone your music on a Bluetooth speaker so everyone has an idea of the tempo. If your musician or DJ needs to know anything specific about the wedding day — your ceremony director should communicate it to them.

Bouquets of Ribbon

A tradition that I love seeing at the rehearsal is when ribbon from wedding gifts is formed into bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids. This will help everyone practice how to hold the bouquet coming down the aisle, as well as how the bride can hand off the bouquet to the maid or matron of honor!

Rehearsal Practice

Step by step

Wedding Party Standing, Family Sitting

The most efficient way to start your rehearsal is to have the wedding party standing up front and your family sitting in their seats. That way, when you practice walking down the aisle, everyone knows exactly where to go. Keep in mind where your ceremony decor will be, then take a step back and view everything from a distance to make sure everything looks good!

Practice the Statement of Intent

With everyone in their place, go ahead and practice the hand-off of the bride from her father (or father figure) to the groom. Traditionally, the bride should be on the left side of her father.

As the bride and father approach the end of the aisle, the groom may step out to meet them. For formal weddings, the groom may even go as far as to stand next to his future father-in-law so that all three of them are facing the pastor as he addresses guests with a few words of welcome and the Statement of Intent.

For a father to be giving his daughter away is a BIG deal. To make this hand-off even more special, dad can give a hug and kiss to the bride, then also a hug or handshake to the groom. After he joins the hands of the bride and groom, make sure he watches out for the dress as he slowly backs away to his seat.

Example Statement of Intent:

“Who gives this bride to be married to this man?”

“Her mother and I,” or “Her family and I”

Handing Off the Bouquet

After the bride has joined hands with the groom, they may take a few steps up toward the altar. If the dress is challenging to walk up steps, you can use the hand with the bouquet to grab a hold of the dress.

Once the bride is at the altar, but before turning inward towards the pastor, you will need to hand off your bouquet to your maid or matron of honor. Once the hand-off has happened, then you may proceed to turn inward towards your groom and join hands.

The Kiss

Now it’s finally time to practice the kiss! Here are some tips to make this moment super special and captured perfectly!

Make sure your belly buttons touch — Lol. I know this seems silly, but if there is space between your bodies, you will look disconnected.
Practice where your hands will go — You’d be surprised how many people hit each other in the face without being prepared.
Hold the kiss — This is a great tip to make sure that you get enough photos. You’re going to want to kiss for a good 4-5 seconds, or right before the crowds start to OOO and AHH =)
If you plan on doing a dip, practice it now — A dipped kiss is absolutely magical, but it can look very awkward depending on the angle, as well as how off-center you can become to the altar. Talk to your photographer about how to perfect it!

The Recession or Exiting the Ceremony WITHOUT Music

It’s time to practice the walk-through of the recession without music. After the pastor introduces the bride and groom, the bride will turn to her maid or matron of honor to grab her bouquet, then begin the walk up to aisle with her now husband.

For an exciting twist on the recession, here are some fun moments you can practice now. Since there’s no music playing now, you can take your time to practice the kiss or dip without any distractions:

Secondary Kiss down the aisle — this is fun to see all your friends and family cheering
Kiss and Dip down the aisle — practice this knowing where the ceremony decor will be
Flowers or Seeds Thrown — this is always a fun way to add even more cheer
Dancing down the aisle — make sure all of your wedding party and family participate as well!

The Procession or Entering the Ceremony with Music

Alright, now that you have the recession perfected, it’s time to line everyone up in the opposite order they were just in to start practicing entering into the ceremony. Because they know exactly where they are going to go, it makes this process that much easier.

Here are some generic tips on the procession:

Cue the music so that everyone knows what speed they should walk — depending on the number of people in your party, it can take 3-5 minutes total for the entire procession. You may opt for one song for the grandparents, parents, and wedding party, then one for the bridal procession.
Typically the groomsmen enter separately from the bridesmaids.
Really young flower girls and ringbearers can sit with mom and dad after they enter to avoid standing up front during the entire ceremony.

Pastor Practices Readings, Vows, and Rings

Now, that everyone is upfront once more, the pastor is welcome to do a short overview of the entire ceremony. This could include the bride and groom practicing anything they will be saying or repeating from the pastor so you can know what to expect.

Special Events

If you plan on having any special events like unity candles, communion, sand jars, etc. you need to practice how you will walk to that part of the stage. Depending on the size and scale of your wedding dress, you may not have a ton of room to move around. If you want your photographer to capture that moment, make sure you communicate which direction you plan to face. Let your maid or matron of honor know that you may need your dress thrown out again upon arrival back to the altar for the final kiss.

The Recession or Exiting the Ceremony WITH Music

Now that you’ve gone through everything, it’s time to exit your wedding ceremony with the ceremony music! Make sure to practice any of the special moments from before and know where your wedding party will go after the ceremony while guests depart.

Screen-Free Ceremony

Last, but certainly not least, let’s talk about the importance of encouraging a screen-free ceremony. In my personal experience, signs explaining this DO NOT WORK. The best plan of action is to have your officiant address your guests before the ceremony ever begins. Then he can get back in line to start the procession.

Screen Free Announcement from Officiant…

“Hello and welcome to the wedding of _ and _! Before we begin, I wanted to remind you all that the bride and groom have requested that this be a screen-free ceremony. Please put your phones away so they may remember all of your beautiful faces during such a special day in their life! Thank you, we will begin shortly.”

The Rehearsal Dinner

What is the rehearsal dinner?

A rehearsal dinner is a celebratory event that occurs after the ceremony rehearsal, typically taking place the day before the wedding. Everyone in both families, in the wedding party, and from out of town are usually invited to the event. But, it is up to the discretion of the couple.

Decide Who Will Host

Under the traditional assumption that the bride family is paying for the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is usually organized and paid for by the parents of the groom. However, modern weddings are throwing out traditions that allows the bride and groom to decide how they’d like to proceed. Remember your conversations with your family back in the first post in our L&B Wedding Planning Series, use this to as a guide when determining who will host the rehearsal dinner.

When to Send Out Invitations

As with any organized event, guests should be informed four to six weeks prior to the date for planning purposes. Rehearsal dinner guest lists cannot be assumed, as some couples opt for immediate family only and others invite nearly half their wedding guest list. Let your guests know in a timely and considerate fashion.

Pick a Unique Location

Aim to have your rehearsal dinner celebration within 20 or so miles of the hotel where your guests are staying, or nearby the actual venue where your ceremony is taking place. Keep in mind that your guests are traveling to celebrate your weekend, so they shouldn't be expected to travel much more than 45 minutes to your rehearsal dinner. Wherever possible, it's always appreciated if you provide clear directions or even transportation.

Toasts and Speeches

Since it’s usually a more intimate crowd, I’ve found that most toasts happen at the rehearsal dinner instead of the wedding. In this case, you can ask the maid or matron of honor, the best man, and any parents to go ahead and make their speeches that night if you prefer. Here are some other ideas you could keep in mind:

Open Mic — For a fun twist, you can have an open mic where any of your friends and family at the rehearsal may come up to give a toast!
Tacky Toasts — We've all cringed during an awkward toast or two. It could be the length or over-intoxicated speeches or embarrassing stories. It may be wise to have someone designated as the MC so they can control the speeches, making sure to let the person giving the toast know.
Beginning of Dinner — To avoid guests having too much to drink before they give a toast, you can also make sure toasts happen at the beginning of dinner.

Gifts to Wedding Party & Parents

At the end of the rehearsal dinner after all of the major events have commenced, this is a great opportunity to give gifts to your wedding party and your parents to save you time on the wedding day!