How to Navigate the Wedding Ceremony

Jan 1

Making choices for your wedding ceremony is usually one of the last things completed in the entire planning process. You get to choose everything from the music, seating, decor, and readings — all to create the perfect setting to marry your husband! Keep reading and I’ll walk you through every step to consider as you plan the wedding ceremony of your dreams.

Setting the Foundation

The wedding ceremony can quite possibly be one of the most heartfelt and sentimental moments of your entire wedding day. And it goes by so fast! So take extra care to choose elements that speak to your story so you can say your vows in the most intentional setting. To begin, start with the three most important factors: formality, themes, and timing.

The Formality of Events

The first step is finalizing the formality of events that will take place in your ceremony. Talk to your officiant as they will have sample programs detailing what is typically done within your cultural or religious beliefs. Choose what’s important to you both and plan from there. Most traditional wedding ceremonies will include a variation of these events:

***Formal welcome asking guests to put phones away
Processional
The Intent of Marriage / Father Hands of Daughter
Readings / Music
Sermon or Message
Vow Exchange
Ring Exchange
Unity Ceremony / Readings / Music
First Kiss
Announcement of the newlyweds
Recessional
***Final Announcements to invite guests to the Reception

Themes

Your wedding ceremony should focus on at least 3 important themes: your past, your present, and your future as a couple. When planning your ceremony with your officiant, be sure to give them insight into each of these areas of your life so they can integrate those into the overall story they will tell. Keep your readings focused on those themes to continue that story throughout the entire ceremony. Give thanks to the people who have gotten you where you are, to the blessings you’re enjoying in the present, and be optimistic about what the future holds.

Timing

The sweet spot for a non-denominational wedding ceremony length is between 20-25 minutes. If it’s shorter than 20 minutes, you’ll likely feel rushed and your guests might leave feeling confused and disappointed. If it’s longer than 25 minutes, you run the risk of losing everyone’s attention. Try to stay within that sweet spot, and you’ll be golden. For formal full-mass Catholic Weddings, you can expect a full hour-long ceremony, while half-mass ceremonies can go around 45 minutes. From my limited understand, the only aspect not included is communion.

Vows

If you’ve followed me for a long time, you know that we strongly believe you really should write your own vows. We’ve spent even put together a how-to guide and a list of unique tips for writing your wedding vows to make it as easy as possible! After all, the true purpose of your wedding day is to promise your lives to each other, and we think the best way to do that is in your own words.

That being said, some churches do require couples to recite a standard set of vows to make the wedding official. And, while there’s really no way to get around that, we do have a tip for couples who want a religious ceremony, but also want to write their own vows: do both! During your wedding ceremony, recite the standard vows that your church requires. During your first look–or even during your post-ceremony portrait session–read the vows you wrote to each other. If there’s anything better than writing your own vows, it’s stepping away from the rush of the wedding day to read those vows privately with the love of your life.

Looking for the perfect book to write those heartfelt words? Then you need one of these 41 wedding vow books to fill with your love!

Planning Your Wedding Ceremony Readings

Aside from writing your own vows, adding a ceremony reading is one of the best ways to personalize your wedding ceremony. Ask one or two family members or close friends to read passages that reflect your views on marriage and/or your hopes for the future. These can be totally unexpected wedding ceremony readings, such as quotes from movies or books; or they can be more traditional and classic, like one of your favorite romantic love poems. The key is to choose readings that fit the vibe of your day and the statement you two want to make about love and marriage.

Unity Ceremony

The unity ceremony serves as a visual representation of the couple joining their separate lives into one, which is why it usually takes place after the couple has exchanged vows. While this is not an official requirement for a wedding ceremony, it is a beautiful, symbolic way to come together as newlyweds. While many couples opt for the traditional candle lighting–which we always love–a lot of couples are going the more non-traditional route with unity ceremonies that range from making a PB&J sandwich to taking a shot of whiskey! If you’re looking for unique ideas, check out these 15 sweet and sentimental unity ceremonies from some of our favorite real weddings.

Music

The beauty of wedding ceremony music is that it can be as elaborate or as minimal as you want. You can also keep it super traditional or go out on a limb with whimsical, unexpected tunes. This is your opportunity to create a soundtrack for part of your life, so have fun with it! Here are a few key moments that most couples choose to highlight with music:

Parents and grandparents’ entrances
Groom’s entrance
Bridal party entrance
Bride’s entrance
Unity ceremony
Recessional

If music is a top priority for you and you plan to include it during your ceremony, we highly recommend you invest in live musicians. Even if ceremony music isn’t a high priority, we can’t talk enough about how special it is to have live music on your wedding day. Of course, if your budget doesn’t allow for it, or you’re planning to use just a processional and/or recessional song, a recording is a good alternative–just be sure to find someone reliable to press play.

Planning Your Exit or Recessional

There’s no better way to mark the end of your ceremony and the beginning of the party than with an unforgettable exit. Flower petals, confetti, sparklers, and bubbles are all great options for your guests to literally shower you with love as you walk–or dance–down the aisle as newlyweds. Just be sure to check with your venue to see if they have any restrictions or clean-up fees!

Religious and Cultural Considerations

If you’re planning a religious or culturally traditional wedding, you might think you have no room to personalize your ceremony. But, we’ve seen time and time again that, with a little creativity, most couples are able to find at least one way to make their ceremony their own. If, for example, you’re having a religious ceremony for which you can’t write your own vows and have to use readings from scripture, choose a totally unique and unexpected unity ceremony. If you’re following cultural traditions for your wedding, choose non-traditional music that is meaningful to your relationship. Just because you’re having a religious or traditional wedding ceremony, doesn’t mean you can’t find ways to personalize it. You might just need to get a little creative!

Design & Décor

At long last, you’ve made it to the best part of planning your wedding ceremony: the design and décor! From arches and backdrops to welcome signs to aisle markers, there are so many details that go into transforming your venue into your perfect ceremony space. Yes, there’s a lot to consider, but we’ve got this wedding décor checklist to help you nail every detail! We’ve also broken down the key elements of your ceremony décor below.

Arches and Backdrops

Of all the decor you can add to your ceremony, arches and backdrops just might be the most important. Not only are they beautiful stand-alone pieces, but they frame the most important aspect of your entire day: you two! We’ve seen everything from macrame to wood to wreaths to copper pipes. We may be biased, but we love them all! We could go on and on about how arches and backdrops make your ceremony look complete and polished, but we’d rather show you instead. Head over to our ceremony Pinterest board to see all of the arches and backdrops from our real weddings!

Seating

When choosing seating options for your wedding ceremony, be sure to consider both form and function. If you’re trying to achieve a specific look, get inspired by these unique ceremony chairs that are as beautiful as they are practical. When planning the space, do your guests a favor and don’t try to pack the chairs as closely together as possible. Give everyone a little breathing room between each other and between the altar and the first row. You’ll also want to take into account the people sitting on the furthest sides or in the back row. Will they be able to see everything? If not, use a semi-circle or full-circle design rather than a straight-row design to ensure everyone has a clear view of the altar.

Once the chairs are set, it’s time to add some pretty dimension to that aisle! We’ve got 45 beautiful wedding aisle markers to fit any style and any budget.

Signage

While there is typically much less signage needed for a ceremony than for a reception, there are a few key signs you should try to include in your ceremony décor:

Welcome Sign – to greet your guests in style
Seating Sign – to let your guests know they don’t need to choose a side
Program Sign – if you’re not printing order-of-events programs
Unplugged Ceremony Sign — to politely remind your guests to put away their phones

For the full list of wedding signs to include in your big day, save this handy wedding sign checklist.

Programs

Wedding ceremony programs are totally optional, but they are a nice way to tell your guests what to expect and a bit about the wedding party. If you decide to print programs, they should include your names, the wedding date and location, names of your wedding party, officiant’s name, and the order of events. If you’re including traditions or readings you’d like to explain, this would be the place to do that, as well. Etsy and Minted have lots of beautiful, customizable templates to choose from.

Lighting

For most couples, their wedding ceremony will be lit by natural sunlight, either outside or through the windows of their venue. That’s why we recommend couples plan their wedding timeline around the sun. When tying the knot, you’ll want to be sure that you’re properly lit, that your photos will turn out beautifully, and that neither you nor your guests are blinded by the harsh sunlight.

If you’re planning an evening ceremony or your venue doesn’t provide sufficient natural light, you’ll need to ensure your venue does have other forms of lighting or you’ll need to add your own. If you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay! We’ve got the ultimate guide to wedding lighting to help you decide what’s right for you.

The Lighting

Before you choose your wedding venue/location, consider the lighting at that location:

If you have an outdoor ceremony, look at when sunset is and how the light will shine on you. One little tweak may change the beauty of your images!
If you have an indoor ceremony, flash photography can be distracting for guests and I try to shoot with only natural light.

Final Thoughts on Planning Your Wedding Ceremony

We know that this is a lot of information, but we have just a few final tips to make sure your wedding ceremony goes off without a hitch:

Don’t forget the rings
Hand-write your vows rather than read from your phone – it will look better in photos and you won’t risk feedback in the sound system
Get to know your officiant ahead of time — it will make you and them more comfortable, and they’ll be better prepared to personalize your ceremony
Hire someone to run the ceremony – even if you don’t want a wedding planner or coordinator for anything else, trust us, you’ll want someone else keeping track of all the details and the timeline
Stay present – at some point during the ceremony, take a minute to breathe and look out at all the people who showed up to love and support you

We’re certain that using this guide will help in planning your wedding ceremony in a way that exceeds your wildest dreams. You’ve got your ultimate checklist for the wedding, now it’s time to get to planning the perfect wedding reception!

Consider Unplugging

If you've been to a wedding recently, you may have seen a sign from the happy couple asking their guests to remain "unplugged" during the ceremony. However, even with all the signs, I have SO many stories of guests stepping out in the aisle or holding their phones up in front of my camera, inhibiting me from capturing your first look.

*I recommend that your officiant give a formal announcement before the ceremony begins, requesting guests to refrain from taking photos during your ceremony.